Twelve Days of Doom!
by TooAwesome4Words
Summary: Zim singing the Twelve Days of Christmas. In his own version. In April. With a very confused Dib. Just read it lol


One day after skool, Zim and Dib were walking home. They had already finished their daily battle and Zim was overly cheerful today.

Dib wondered why Zim was so... creepily happy. Zim was grinning past his ears if that were possible.

Suddenly Zim started singing.

"On the first day of Christmas my Tallest gave to me, a malfunctioning SIR unit!"

Dib stared at the green alien. "Wha-?"

"On the second day of Christmas my Tallest gave to me: Two rubber piggies and a malfunctioning SIR unit!"

Dib looked dumbfounded. "What are you talking about, Zim?"

"On the third day of Christmas my Tallest gave to me: Three Irken soldiers, two rubber piggies and a malfunctioning SIR unit!"

"Seriously Zim? Stop singing now. Really. Come on now."

"On the fourth day of Christmas my Tallest gave to me: Four evil minions, three Irken soldiers, two rubber piggies, and a malfunctioning SIR unit!"

"...It's the middle of April."

"On the fifth day of Christmas my Tallest gave to me: Five Big-head Dib-beasts!"

"Now you're just being insulting."

"On the sixth day of Christmas my Tallest gave to me: Six stacks of waffles, Five big-head Dib-beasts, four evil minions, three Irken soldiers, two rubber piggies, and a malfunctioning SIR unit!"

"You're scaring me, Zim."

"On the seventh day of Christmas my Tallest gave to me: seven megadoomers, six stacks of waffles, five big-head Dib-beasts, four evil minions, three Irken soldiers, two rubber piggies, and a malfunctioning SIR unit!"

"Why am I still here?"

"On the eighth day of Christmas my Tallest gave to me: eight jelly doughnuts, seven megadoomers, six stacks of waffles, five big-head Dib-beasts, four evil minions, three Irken soldiers, two rubber piggies, and a malfunctioning SIR unit!"

"...Christmas was over four months ago."

"On the nineth day of Christmas my Tallest gave to me: nine human psychiatrists, eight jelly doughnuts, seven megadoomers, six stacks of waffles, five big-head Dib-beasts, four evil minions, three Irken soldiers, two rubber piggies, and a malfunctioning SIR unit!"

"Psychiatrists? Well at least you'll put them to good use..."

"On the tenth day of Christmas my Tallest gave to me: ten conquered planets, nine human psychiatrists, eight jelly doughnuts, seven megadoomers, six stacks of waffles, five big-head Dib-beasts, four evil minions, three Irken soldiers, two rubber piggies, and a malfunctioning SIR unit!"

"Zim you really have problems. Put your nine psychiatrists to good use. Like now."

"On the eleventh day of Christmas my Tallest gave to me: Something with eleven, ten conquered planets, nine human psychiatrists, eight jelly doughnuts, seven megadoomers, six stacks of waffles, five big-head Dib-beasts, four evil minions, three Irken soldiers, two rubber piggies, and a malfunctioning SIR unit!"

"Now you're being real creative aren't you?"

"On the twelfth day of Christmas my Tallest gave to me: Twelve months of conquest, something with eleven, ten conquered planets, nine human psychiatrists, eight jelly doughnuts, seven megadoomers, six stacks of waffles, five big-head Dib-beasts, four evil minions, three Irken soldiers, two rubber piggies, and a malfunctioning SIR unit!"

"Is it over? is it finally over?"

"On the thirteenth day of Christmas my Tallest gave to me: thirteen clown taquitos, twelve months of conquest, something with eleven, ten conquered planets, nine human psychiatrists, eight jelly doughnuts, seven megadoomers, six stacks of waffles, five big-head Dib-beasts, four evil minions, three Irken soldiers, two rubber piggies, and a malfunctioning SIR unit!"

"Wait wait wait, isn't that song supposed to stop at twelve?" Dib asked.

Zim paused his misplaced song long enough to answer. "Irken Christmas lasts about 120 earth days. One year on Irk is ten years on Earth. Which means it's ten times longer there."

Dib proceded to bang his head against the nearest tree as Zim continued singing. "Zim. It's spring. You know that right?"

Zim completely ignored him and kept singing.

Though the truth was, it had taken Zim the extra four months to come up with things to get in 120 years.


End file.
